aubins | SHI QING XUAN

...I guess you're right about that. A month... isn't all that long at all. Even with more time, there's still...

[her voice trails off, and she shakes her head, looking down at her hands.]

"After everything"...?

[

so i know we all pretty much collectively decided douman killed omi at the end of the trial but like. at that time, shi qingxuan was busy cuddling with aoi, so.

(she's going to be so mad once she snaps out of this and realizes how useless she was at trial, when she just wanted to be useful.)]

You can know someone, and not know them all at once. Depends on how open you are, and how willing they are to be open with you. Sometimes by not being open at all, you can be close to someone as well. But... a month is still just a month. Even in a place like this.

[ ... dfljdlgkjd oh sqx. ]

Yes...? We spoke about it pretty extensively in trial.

Did we...?

[she was. so focused on aoi.

i'm so sorry.]

[ ....... he closes his eyes for a moment. ]

We're pretty certain Douman killed Omi.

[oh. huh.]

...but, they liked Omi a lot...

[she has a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea of killing someone you care deeply about.

...but then she seems to remember something, and her face falls.]

Although, I guess that wouldn't... necessarily stop everyone, would it.

A bit too much, apparently. Add in whatever happened with the four who vanished this week, and the amplified base sins we've all been experiencing, and this is the result.

[ ... he's quiet for a moment, staring at the floor, before shaking his head. ]

Sometimes there's a reason for it. Sometimes that reason only makes sense in one person's mind.

...I guess you're right about that.

[that's a depressing thought, though.]

We're all complicated people. Sometimes people want what they want and can't comprehend not having it.

[ and the wrong people suffer for it. ]

...

[she sighs]

You're right about that, too.

Unfortunately.

[ ... he glances over at the flowers she's looking at well. ]

Might need to ask to take a few of these. If Pride's not in a terrible mood at potentially being left with Gu Yun and Molly on their team only.

...do you think Pride's going to be okay? They don't really talk to me much, but... it can't be easy, losing members of your team like that.

[even if it's not really... "teams"...

envy had seemed really upset, though. (she was Too Cursed to notice pride bloodcrying.)]

I don't know. Envy's whole team is wiped out, Pride's down to two... everyone's lost someone except for Greed and Gluttony at this point haven't they?

[ and wrath lost HK-47, and really is that a loss? ]

[she thinks back and then nods]

...right. I think that's true. [...] I'm worried. Do you think - well, Envy was still here at the trial today, so that's a good thing... but it's concerning, to see Pride's numbers getting lower, too.

[...what will it mean if too many teams get wiped out...]

We're not teams in the traditional sense. But if the Avatars have wishes too and those wishes are tied to their teams being alive then... Envy's just lost. So to speak.

[she glances at her gluttony tattoo]

...I hope that's not the case. All of us - we can decide if we're going to indulge in not, but they can't control what we do...

[...]

Douman told me that... they had heard that Pride felt trapped here. And... we saw those pictures, of Sloth and Envy... I just hope that an Avatar losing people who are aligned with their sin won't make them even more trapped, or make things worse for them.

It could be the balance of things. We have more autonomy, but we're like rats in a cage. Sure, we all agreed to this but it's like signing a contract without being allowed to look at the fine print.

They're not in the cage. They can do things we can't, and know things we don't. But the pay off is that they can't control what we do or who's going to win. I know we found the alarm thing funny, but there must be a reason they have those alarms in the first place.

[ ... ]

Given how unwilling Envy was to talk to us, and how... I don't know, flippant? Sloth was. I don't know if we'll find out anything even if we did ask them.

...I think they said the alarm was for privacy's sake, so they weren't watching when we indulged in a certain way, but...

[...it does seem a little more significant. why are they watching so closely, anyway?]

...I guess we'll just have to keep looking. Maybe they don't think there's anything we can do to help them, but... I want to protect as many people here as possible and get as many of us out of this as we can. That includes them.

I've heard people say that killing is the most efficient indulgence you can do here. Which means there must be some level of hierachy to indulgences and what we do -- if sex is a higher one than just gorging yourself on food, or taking a long nap, then maybe they need to know. Although why, I couldn't say.

[ do their indulgence points mean something to the avatars as well? ]

Right. I think I want to check another room next week, with the Avatars and their situation in mind. We can't really share what we found this week, due to keeping their privacy in tact. It might be more efficient if we checked rooms separately though.

I don't care for the idea of leaving them behind either.

Hmm...

[she's thinking back...]

Lust told me that... it's important to them to make sure we're doing this the right way. When I asked what they meant, they said "indulging enough". [...] And, they said that some of us have been, but some of us have been falling behind. They also said that it didn't mean it was bad, just that we'll be here for longer.

[so...

maybe if they all fuck more they can go home faster?]

I'll look around, too. Tell me where you're planning to look before you go? That way we can make sure not to check the same place by mistake.

They did say they couldn't predict how long we'd be here for. There must be a threshhold, some sort of upper limit we have to reach before we can leave. [ ... ]

When I think about what happened to Nathan, and the "indulgence is key" message -- I wonder if by not indulging, we're forfeiting our right to be here. Seeing as that was all they really asked of us.

[ fuck bitches go home ]

Will do. I'll let you know where I'm thinking of after we see the new floors. Then we can meet up and share infomation.

...I wonder if, by refusing to indulge, Nathan was sent home, or...

[well, that message was pretty ominous, so like. probably not.]

I guess all we can really do is keep indulging as much as we can, and try to get out of here faster before someone else has to die. [...] Hah, I hope Gluttony gets annoyed by all the alarms.

[wow? passagg.

anyway.]

It's a plan, then.

That seems... optimistic at best, Shi.

[ probably not. ]

... Wow, not a fan then? There's your incentive to get more indulging in, just to really tick them off. [ haha, rip gluttony. ]

Right. It's a plan.

They made me mad this week.

[so there]

We have to figure this out. We have people to protect. Aoi's really worried that more people she cares about will die, too... so we have to get to the bottom of this!

... [ huh. ]

Dare I ask what they did?

...

[ oh we're back to aoi. ]

That's the risk, weekly. Someone you care about will die. We can't do much for them once they do, but trying to keep those who are left safe is something we can try to do.

...they made me feel like I wanted to die.

[haha. yikes!]

But I don't want that. I definitely don't want to leave Aoi behind, and... I don't want her or anyone else here to die, either.

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