GOJOU

[aubins]

Comments

[mukagen]

Rather than fight, it'd be more that I'm your new training dummy.

[ He's too lazy to fight-fight. Dodging would be better for him, he thinks. ]

[aubins]

[ huh. ]

Sure? That sounds a little masochistic of you.

[mukagen]

Shouldn't you be saying that's kind of me? I'm helping you out!

[ They see this very differently, it looks like. ]

[aubins]

By... offering to get hit like a training dummy?

[ indeed. ]

[mukagen]

[ Points at him! ]

That's if you can hit me in the first place.

[aubins]

[ hm. well then. ]

Alright.

[ he just. immediately swings the sword at him. think fast blue eyes. ]

[mukagen]

[ You know that hollow sound that foam makes when it hits something? Yeah. That's the dick sword hitting Gojou.

There's a silence as he remembers he can't show off the Limitless. ]

Okay, take two. I'm ready now.

[aubins]

[ ]

...

[ gojou, he was prepared for something impressive not just... local man gets a faceful of dicksword, more at 10pm? ]

Do you need me to telegraph a warning before I go? Send a smoke signal?

[mukagen]

No, no. I'm ready now, I promise.

[ GOJOU MAY HAVE BEEN BOINKED ONCE, but Yuri can go smacking him now. ]

[aubins]

[ well. alrighty then. yuri's off again - with a different swing of the sword and a different pace this time, just in case. even know enough about jujutsu kaisen to know the sort of crap gojou is capable of, but yuri is still pretty fast.

which is good because his HP and DEF stats suck, but he specialises in not getting hit so.

him nippy. ]

[mukagen]

[ And for Yuri this time, Gojou dodges the swing and the next blows to come. They seem to barely whiff him, like he can see the future. Being tall should make it easier to hit him, but he's so slippery for some reason. ]

You're so close, Lavender!

[aubins]

[ wow. ]

[ honestly? he's impressed. but he's also now determined to smack this man in the face again so that just translates into moving faster, and twisting more to change the trajectory of the swords blows at points where it should -- in theory at least -- be harder to dodge.

in theory. ]

[ gojou gets no verbal response because he hasn't earned it. ]

[mukagen]

That's good. Keep focusing.

[ Because Gojou doesn't seem to break a sweat. However many blows Yuri is willing to throw, Gojou is like an ice skater... Thanks MAPPA. Still, Gojou is only human.

Which means Yuri catches him right after a dodge. His reward? His training dummy plops over. ]

[aubins]

[ thanks MAPPA.

well, yuri knows enough about fighting to know that when an enemy falters you go in for the kill.

luckily he's only holding a foam sword or it might have done some damage when he moves to make sure gojou is properly knocked over and holds the "blade" his throat. (does that mean he's sitting on him? maybe. i don't know what's happening anymore.) ]

Not very focused of you, was that?

[mukagen]

Not very, but I did make you chase for quite some time.

[ Gojou has the mind to flip the positions over to demonstrate something, especially with a foam sword to his throat, but he doesn't. This is how he's supposed to indulge, right?

By not doing anything. That's... So difficult. ]

This is where you do what you need to do to your enemy, or whatever you want to do.

[aubins]

Yeah, I'll give you that. I figured you'd be a lot easier to hit.

[ the tragedy of being team sloth, gojou. you just have to lie there and deal. but hey, at least he did the least he could in this whole fight? super annoying! ]

Normally my enemy wouldn't eat dirt before I had a chance to finish them off. [ pointedly. ]

[mukagen]

[ It is a tragedy... Gojou really likes doing things, he tends to do a lot of things at once, but it's different here. He has to slow down. ]

I wanted to make a grand exit.

[aubins]

By collapsing on the ground in a heap.

[ he just looks pointedly at the pile of gojou. and then actually back up at his face. ]

I can see that worked out really well for you. [ did you even try, sir? ]

[mukagen]

[ Gojou takes the look with grace, merely staring back at him with big blue eyes. He even blows his bangs up with a with a quick puff so he can see Yuri even better. ]

It worked out really well.

[ Smiling, though not intentionally smug, comes of very much smug. He did try, though. ]

[aubins]

[ wow. infuriating. ]

Really.

[ he leans back a little so he can cross his arms. or as best as one can cross arms when they're still pointing a fake foam sword-that-looks-vaguely-dick-shaped at a guy's throat with one hand. ]

[mukagen]

[ Gojou stays put, though he shimmies a bit in place to get more comfortable, barely nudging against the dick-shaped sword. Hands rest clasped over his stomach ]

You don't like the view from up there?

[aubins]

[ they're just here now i guess. send help. ]

I've seen worse.

[ guys? hello?

he removes the vaguely-dick-shaped-sword after a moment, and leans it on the ground. ] Turns out it's actually less fun if you're just dodging.

[mukagen]

Thanks!

[ Whether or not Yuri meant is as a compliment, Gojou will take it. ]

I'm not sure what you expected me to do when I'm unarmed. [ except... you know... still put up a fight which he could have done. ] Is this how you would leave your enemy, though? You would spare them?

[ hello? ]

[aubins]

I thought you said you taught martial arts, blue eyes. [ calling out

that bullshit ]

I could try and beat you to death with a foam sword to claim victory, but we'd been here a really long time, and it might just get awkward. [ more awkward than just sitting on a guy and chatting with him. ] I'm thinking of alternatives.

[mukagen]

When you think of something, tell me.

[ He doesn't mind that Yuri is sitting on him. It's not like the other man is heavy. It does kind of remind of him childhood..... where he had to take care of some brats. To think he's grown up to take care... of more brats as a job. ]

So you want to see some martial arts?

[ IT REALLY IS BULLSHIT BUT ALSO NOT BULLSHIT. ]