[ he keeps saying videogames and that tells yuri nothing. but it's fine he's got this. ]
So those are... games, but they have something to do with this? [ he raps a knuckle on the tv screen. i truly hope he just punched one of the actors in the tit. ]
but hey, he'll sit himself down on the sofa and stare at the screen -- especially after it switches from whatever nightmare colonel sanders shenangians were occuring to
whatever overcooked looks like to a ye olde fire emblem. ]
[ Gojou will join him! And pass him a controller. Quickly, he gives Yuri some instruction on THE LEFT SIDE IS FOR YOU TO MOVE, ALSO TO SELECT. And the other buttons are accept cancel, whatever. ]
So this is a cooking diner simulator—or should I say a tavern simulator.
[ IS THAT A GOOD COMPARISON. ]
We basically fulfill orders for money.
[ As cute little animals. Gojou has chosen a panda because it reminds him of his student, Panda. ]
[ he's just staring at the controller. and then he pushes down the directional button and--
keeps it pressed down. wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. he stops when he realises it's just cycling through the little creatures on screen. ]
Tavern makes sense. [ he presses the button once. and then again. and then he does that thing like when you're watching your grandpa type and he looks down at the keyboard, taps the single letter, and then back up at the screen to see what happened. he's doing that. but with the character selection screen.
[ Because Gojou isn't so cruel to throw Yuri into the lion's den yet. Or should we say wolf's den. He gives some more instructions on like... The two buttons to use to play overcook that isn't the joystick.
The timer doesn't go down until they submit something, so they have allll the timeeee in the world. ]
[ still eight of the most concerning words he's heard today, and he got handed a dicksword. still. the guidance is appreciated.
and thank god the timer doesn't go down because "cutting the fish" is a slightly speedier version of "grandpa typing letter by letter", but still involves a lot of staring at the controller, then at the button, rinse and repeat. it's only a little way in that he seems to realise he can press the button faster, and the lil' wolf will chop faster.
learning! ]
Wish it was that easy to prepare a fish in reality.
If life were a game, then it would mean there's such a thing as "winning."
[ Though, for Gojou, he does believe in "winning" for the most part. Either way, he will take Yuri's cut fish and plate it. This? It's sashimi. That's all they're making. ]
Preparing fish really is annoying... But you don't need to suffer too much in a videogame. [ He points to the button that Yuri is mashing. ] You can hold the button instead of pressing it each time. It'll count it as multiple taps for as long as you hold it.
[ he can... think of some people who would definitely think they are winning at life over others. but that's not a philosophical conversation to have over making pretend sashimi. ]
Deboning it's the most fun part, I don't know what you're talking about. [ deboning a fish is a pain in the assand his tone of voice suggests it is absolutely a pain in the ass no matter what his words are actually saying. ]
...
[ he holds down the button
the wolf makes some wild, knife hacking motions at the chopping board. impressive. ]
Then they'll have to prepared to "lose" more often than "win."
[ All about perspective, in his opinion. So many losses is discouraging and weighs so heavy in young minds. However, they are not talking about that. They are! Instead!
Chopping fish. Yuri is an expert. ]
We just need to put the food on the plate, corresponding to the order, and we would turn them in... Here!
[ The weird ass takeout conveyer belt. He doesn't know how to explain that part to Yuri, but he just needs to POINT. This thing. The orders start piling up, now with rice.
Cucumber.
Seaweed.
They are making maki. ]
Fish roll first! [ Yes. He's going to call them fish rolls. ] Cucumber roll after.
I'd say that depends on their circumstances. You can brute force a win in any situation if you have the people, the money and the power to do so.
[ he's a bit distracted by... well. the everything that's going on on screen right now. he doesn't know what he's doing. he's just chopping so much fish? there's so much fish gojou.
where does he even find cucumber.
does he chop it in the same spot as the fish?
he's doing his best.
but he does make a fish roll and put it in the right place so He Can Be Taught. ]
That still comes with consequences and those can easily color your victory into something uglier.
[ Gojou is less distracted despite the talk. Anyway, he sees that Yuri is getting the hang of it! Completing orders by himself. As some praise, he uses an emote that makes his panda say "good job!!" ]
I try. [ ... ] I’m hanging on by a thread and will probably mess up in about three seconds, but I try.
[ five seconds actually. spends a couple of seconds pressing the wrong button before looking down at it in an admission of defeat. one of the rolls now has fish and cucumber. he sighs. ]
But knocking them off their pedastal is so much fun. [ he sounds a little bit blissful. wow yuri, is that a hobby of yours? ] Or at the very least, kicking them until they wobble.
I'm going to assume that's a good thing and just ... try not to mess up the orders.
[ the delight of knocking people off their cosy little pedastals is universal, it seems. still, the motion distracts yuri, which means he glances over to see what gojou's doing, and forgets to take the rice out of the pot before it burns.
[ hence, yuri does not put out the fire with the fire extinguisher. he picks up everything but the fire extinguisher, and presses a few wrong buttons. ]
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Yeah, but more appealing to the eyes.
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Chess isn't exactly painful to the eyes.
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[ He is a man of b-rate culture. It is reality. ]
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So those are... games, but they have something to do with this? [ he raps a knuckle on the tv screen. i truly hope he just punched one of the actors in the tit. ]
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[ Yuri is learning that Gojou's way of teaching is very... I tell you what it is, you figure out the rest.
As an example, Gojou will fiddle with the consoles and VOILA. Overcooked. No more Colonel Sanders. ]
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but hey, he'll sit himself down on the sofa and stare at the screen -- especially after it switches from whatever nightmare colonel sanders shenangians were occuring to
whatever overcooked looks like to a ye olde fire emblem. ]
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So this is a cooking diner simulator—or should I say a tavern simulator.
[ IS THAT A GOOD COMPARISON. ]
We basically fulfill orders for money.
[ As cute little animals. Gojou has chosen a panda because it reminds him of his student, Panda. ]
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[ he's just staring at the controller. and then he pushes down the directional button and--
keeps it pressed down. wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. he stops when he realises it's just cycling through the little creatures on screen. ]
Tavern makes sense. [ he presses the button once. and then again. and then he does that thing like when you're watching your grandpa type and he looks down at the keyboard, taps the single letter, and then back up at the screen to see what happened. he's doing that. but with the character selection screen.
he's a wolf now. ]
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[ Because Gojou isn't so cruel to throw Yuri into the lion's den yet. Or should we say wolf's den. He gives some more instructions on like... The two buttons to use to play overcook that isn't the joystick.
The timer doesn't go down until they submit something, so they have allll the timeeee in the world. ]
Cut this fish for me!
[ HIS PANDA YEETS IT AT YURI. ]
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and thank god the timer doesn't go down because "cutting the fish" is a slightly speedier version of "grandpa typing letter by letter", but still involves a lot of staring at the controller, then at the button, rinse and repeat. it's only a little way in that he seems to realise he can press the button faster, and the lil' wolf will chop faster.
learning! ]
Wish it was that easy to prepare a fish in reality.
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[ Though, for Gojou, he does believe in "winning" for the most part. Either way, he will take Yuri's cut fish and plate it. This? It's sashimi. That's all they're making. ]
Preparing fish really is annoying... But you don't need to suffer too much in a videogame. [ He points to the button that Yuri is mashing. ] You can hold the button instead of pressing it each time. It'll count it as multiple taps for as long as you hold it.
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[ he can... think of some people who would definitely think they are winning at life over others. but that's not a philosophical conversation to have over making pretend sashimi. ]
Deboning it's the most fun part, I don't know what you're talking about. [ deboning a fish is a pain in the assand his tone of voice suggests it is absolutely a pain in the ass no matter what his words are actually saying. ]
...
[ he holds down the button
the wolf makes some wild, knife hacking motions at the chopping board. impressive. ]
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[ All about perspective, in his opinion. So many losses is discouraging and weighs so heavy in young minds. However, they are not talking about that. They are! Instead!
Chopping fish. Yuri is an expert. ]
We just need to put the food on the plate, corresponding to the order, and we would turn them in... Here!
[ The weird ass takeout conveyer belt. He doesn't know how to explain that part to Yuri, but he just needs to POINT. This thing. The orders start piling up, now with rice.
Cucumber.
Seaweed.
They are making maki. ]
Fish roll first! [ Yes. He's going to call them fish rolls. ] Cucumber roll after.
[ Gojou is like ZOOMING all over the kitchen. ]
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[ he's a bit distracted by... well. the everything that's going on on screen right now. he doesn't know what he's doing. he's just chopping so much fish? there's so much fish gojou.
where does he even find cucumber.
does he chop it in the same spot as the fish?
he's doing his best.
but he does make a fish roll and put it in the right place so He Can Be Taught. ]
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[ Gojou is less distracted despite the talk. Anyway, he sees that Yuri is getting the hang of it! Completing orders by himself. As some praise, he uses an emote that makes his panda say "good job!!" ]
You're a quick learner, mister lavender.
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[ wow! show off! ]
I try. [ ... ] I’m hanging on by a thread and will probably mess up in about three seconds, but I try.
[ five seconds actually. spends a couple of seconds pressing the wrong button before looking down at it in an admission of defeat. one of the rolls now has fish and cucumber. he sighs. ]
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[ Laughs, at least until they're killed! Gojou doesn't add that, though. ]
It's all right. We might get an order like that, so we can set that plate aside.
[ He puts that one next to the turn-in area. This isn't to frame Yuri's shame, it's just so they can both get to it. ]
We still have momentum. Three stars is ours.
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I'm going to assume that's a good thing and just ... try not to mess up the orders.
[ three stars? okay sir. ]
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Three stars is the maximum number you can get until you can unlock four stars. Think of it as getting the highest score on an exam.
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tragic. ]
Ugh.
[ right. right, he's back. ]
Well that part's easy enough to understand.
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[ And, as Gojou does, forgets to detail what the fuck that is. ]
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Then realizes the fire isn't being dealt with and now the fire has SPREAD across their kitchen. ]
This thing, Yuri! It's this thing!!
[ He yeets the fire extinguisher at the wolf. ]
Right bumper to use it!!!!
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he just. presses a whole bunch of buttons one after the other. drops the extinguisher. picks it back up. and then finally
puts out a fire.
good job yuri, you won the game. ]
"The thing", he says.
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I did say the fire extinguisher.
[ ... ]
I just didn't mention what it is or what it looks like.
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