yuri's crouches down by some of the flowers, just looking at them. there's a twitch to his hand that suggests he sort of wants to pick some of them, but he's restraining himself. when he glances up and spots gojou, he offers him a shrug in greeting -- ]
I'd say here's your flower garden, but I think picking these might be more trouble than it's worth.
[ Gojou sighssss dramatically! Finally, flowers, but he isn't allowed to touch a single one. ]
I'd rather not be stabbed, so!
[ He shrugs.
And this is where the memory hits like a truck.
—
A train of memories fly past. Gojou is seen as a young student, waving at a a group of people heading to a sacred place. Specifically, his attention is on a girl wearing a regular school uniform. She is the prize, the body they are all supposed to protect, and it's mission complete. Then he's viciously left for dead in the same spot. The assassin makes quick work as Gojou lies in a growing red puddle.
But the memories go fast, to him recovering and healing himself to fighting the assassin himself, like they're being played fast forward, until he finds the girl's body. That is when the memory slows...
She lays lifeless in one of the cult's facilities, surrounded by faithful believers smiling all around. They applaud. The death of this young, innocent girl is worth celebrating for them. Gojou merely picks up her limp body and a thought goes through his mind, audible:
[ there goes his plans for a little memorial of his own. there's a big, pride shaped wall in the way.
he's about to open his mouth to respond to that, "of course no one wants to be stabbed" or something along those lines but then, y'know. that happens.
and it's disorienting and weird, having another person in his head like that and seeing their lives through yuri's own eyes like he was there, experiencing it too. and he wants to ask? what was going on? who was the girl, why did she die? who killed her? is this what gojou meant about the dangers of his world? because he doesn't look to be much younger than yuri was back at the academy but --- there he is, and there's that dark thought, like killing would be easy--
but he doesn't get a chance to because his own memory starts to play instead (4:34 to 7:20). and it's dark and raw, and all his thoughts and insecurities shared with someone he trusted now laid out like a book in front of people he doesn't know anywhere as well as he knew anyone from garreg mach.
it's enough that when it finishes, he doesn't say anything. just exhales sharply through his nose and keeps quiet. ]
[ His memoriaaaallllll. He guesses he can make one of like. Boob stressballs for Beau. Gojou grows quiet when he sees a piece of Yuri's past... Seeing how the young man shows so much emotion on his face, many that he hasn't gotten to see here.
Quickly, Gojou understands that he wasn't supposed to see that, so! He ruffles Yuri's hair. ]
[ Someone has to be enjoying it! There's always that weirdo. Anyway, he sighs at the idea of his memories just being launched to people. He doesn't have anything to hide, but...
Yeah? Good for them. If they have nothing they want to hide then... I wonder what kind of life you live to feel that way.
[ yuri has done a lot of things he isn't proud of. but a lot of things that were also necessary to survive, or take another step towards ... better. better anything, better everything - more money, more supplies, a save haven for him, then more and more people as his gang, his people grew.
he does what he has to.
and what he has to do right now, is pull a face. ]
[ SORRy, YURI. Gojou understands needing to do whatever it takes to survive, even the most deplorable, so he cannot judge all of those things. Instead, he's fixated on the emotions and the turmoil.
People's opinions and your own opinions can differ. [ it's... difficult to resort to doing whatever you have to and still feeling a sense of love and self-worth for yourself at the end of it. if he figures out how to balance it all, well... that will be a day indeed.
... ]
It didn't work out though. [ less a question, more just a gentle statement. ]
[ At least in his opinion. Gojou imagines that maybe Yuri... Truly wants to be a good person. That's really the fault of most people, he thinks, but he doesn't want to voice it. ]
Nah. There was a cult that wanted to get into her way of her duty because of whatever ridiculous belief they had. Hired an assassin to kill her and everything. Ridiculous, right?
[ which of course.... means that the self-loathing part is what he believes above all else. no matter what others think of him. ]
...
Yeah, there are people out there who just don't care what they trample over to get what they want. Although a cult sounds... ominous. A cult of what, exactly?
That's good. You should demand everything of the world. I'll put in that I think you're very much lovable even if you don't care about my opinion.
[ Snickering a bit even though it's the truth. ]
It's kind of complicated... So we have an immortal Jujutsu sorcerer named Tengen that keeps the barriers up at both Jujutsu school locations, but back in the day he used to spread Buddhism! From there, different groups branched off of that with slightly different beliefs or ideals.
One of them is this cult that worships him as a deity and believes Tengen switching to a new body would make their holy god impure. They killed Riko, Tengen's new vessel, to prevent the merge. Wild, right?
I demand everything I need anyway, you're just telling me what I already do. [ god. ] Yeah? I'm used to people telling me that. [ he doesn't believe it. simple! ]
...
[ he talks about it in such a detatched way, and so openly. that's weird in and of itself. ]
Even with someone protecting her. They must've been desperate. It's always the people who have some kind of strong belief, or powerful motivation, or emotion towards a cause that end up being the most dangerous to deal with.
Rather than desperate, they're blind. That's also dangerous. Goes to show no matter how strong you are, you can't save everyone. [ ... ] It was the first time I held a corpse.
[ Maybe that single line holds the most emotion from everything Gojou has said about the memory. Despite that, he can't say he'd go back and change the past because he knows that is impossible.
In need of a distraction, he looks at Yuri and—is he pink? The man sounded so confident saying "I demand everything I need anyway, you're just telling me what I already do" and "Yeah? I'm used to people telling me that," so he didn't think much.
But.
It's very obvious to him that his face is pink. He will keep staring. ]
[ It's true. Some people continue to be weighed by those emotions... His peer is like that. A good man, wanting to help others, and seeking to make a place better for people. Gojou isn't as good of a man, but they all try in their way.
He merely smiles some more. ]
Do you want to hear more? [ Spontaneously, he pulls Yuri closer by the shoulder so he can nuzzle into the size of his head playfully. ] I was telling the truth, by the way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 2, monday
yuri's crouches down by some of the flowers, just looking at them. there's a twitch to his hand that suggests he sort of wants to pick some of them, but he's restraining himself. when he glances up and spots gojou, he offers him a shrug in greeting -- ]
I'd say here's your flower garden, but I think picking these might be more trouble than it's worth.
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I'd rather not be stabbed, so!
[ He shrugs.
And this is where the memory hits like a truck.
—
A train of memories fly past. Gojou is seen as a young student, waving at a a group of people heading to a sacred place. Specifically, his attention is on a girl wearing a regular school uniform. She is the prize, the body they are all supposed to protect, and it's mission complete. Then he's viciously left for dead in the same spot. The assassin makes quick work as Gojou lies in a growing red puddle.
But the memories go fast, to him recovering and healing himself to fighting the assassin himself, like they're being played fast forward, until he finds the girl's body. That is when the memory slows...
She lays lifeless in one of the cult's facilities, surrounded by faithful believers smiling all around. They applaud. The death of this young, innocent girl is worth celebrating for them. Gojou merely picks up her limp body and a thought goes through his mind, audible:
Wouldn't it be better if I killed them all? ]
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he's about to open his mouth to respond to that, "of course no one wants to be stabbed" or something along those lines but then, y'know. that happens.
and it's disorienting and weird, having another person in his head like that and seeing their lives through yuri's own eyes like he was there, experiencing it too. and he wants to ask? what was going on? who was the girl, why did she die? who killed her? is this what gojou meant about the dangers of his world? because he doesn't look to be much younger than yuri was back at the academy but --- there he is, and there's that dark thought, like killing would be easy--
but he doesn't get a chance to because his own memory starts to play instead (4:34 to 7:20). and it's dark and raw, and all his thoughts and insecurities shared with someone he trusted now laid out like a book in front of people he doesn't know anywhere as well as he knew anyone from garreg mach.
it's enough that when it finishes, he doesn't say anything. just exhales sharply through his nose and keeps quiet. ]
no subject
Quickly, Gojou understands that he wasn't supposed to see that, so! He ruffles Yuri's hair. ]
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how awkward. neither of them were probably supposed to see either of those scenes, were they? ]
... Is that supposed to be the weird quirk plaguing our lives this week?
[ thanks, he hates it. ]
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If it is, I don't like it!
[ Laughing! ]
I have better memories than that.
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There's nothing to like about it, blue eyes.
[ TIRED. ]
....
Yeah. So do I. [ ... ] I don't think we really get any say it what gets pulled out though.
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[ Someone has to be enjoying it! There's always that weirdo. Anyway, he sighs at the idea of his memories just being launched to people. He doesn't have anything to hide, but...
That's so much to deal with. ]
You thought yourself unlovable?
[ might as well ]
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[ yuri has done a lot of things he isn't proud of. but a lot of things that were also necessary to survive, or take another step towards ... better. better anything, better everything - more money, more supplies, a save haven for him, then more and more people as his gang, his people grew.
he does what he has to.
and what he has to do right now, is pull a face. ]
Why is that what you latch onto?
[ arggh. ]
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And.
Of course. ]
You just seem so confident all the time.
[ Hahaaaaaa. ]
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[ ... ]
Picking through things takes time. And ideally, I'd prefer no one follows the sort of life I lived.
[ but he's not just going to sit here and be analysed-- ]
Who was the girl?
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What you've done doesn't change your lovability.
[ Snickers. Though the serious message is that someone's worth will always be there. ]
Amanai Riko, a regular girl with a special duty. I was supposed to protect her until she fulfills that duty.
no subject
People's opinions and your own opinions can differ. [ it's... difficult to resort to doing whatever you have to and still feeling a sense of love and self-worth for yourself at the end of it. if he figures out how to balance it all, well... that will be a day indeed.
... ]
It didn't work out though. [ less a question, more just a gentle statement. ]
no subject
[ At least in his opinion. Gojou imagines that maybe Yuri... Truly wants to be a good person. That's really the fault of most people, he thinks, but he doesn't want to voice it. ]
Nah. There was a cult that wanted to get into her way of her duty because of whatever ridiculous belief they had. Hired an assassin to kill her and everything. Ridiculous, right?
She was just a kid.
no subject
[ which of course.... means that the self-loathing part is what he believes above all else. no matter what others think of him. ]
...
Yeah, there are people out there who just don't care what they trample over to get what they want. Although a cult sounds... ominous. A cult of what, exactly?
no subject
That's good. You should demand everything of the world. I'll put in that I think you're very much lovable even if you don't care about my opinion.
[ Snickering a bit even though it's the truth. ]
It's kind of complicated... So we have an immortal Jujutsu sorcerer named Tengen that keeps the barriers up at both Jujutsu school locations, but back in the day he used to spread Buddhism! From there, different groups branched off of that with slightly different beliefs or ideals.
One of them is this cult that worships him as a deity and believes Tengen switching to a new body would make their holy god impure. They killed Riko, Tengen's new vessel, to prevent the merge. Wild, right?
no subject
I demand everything I need anyway, you're just telling me what I already do. [ god. ] Yeah? I'm used to people telling me that. [ he doesn't believe it. simple! ]
...
[ he talks about it in such a detatched way, and so openly. that's weird in and of itself. ]
Even with someone protecting her. They must've been desperate. It's always the people who have some kind of strong belief, or powerful motivation, or emotion towards a cause that end up being the most dangerous to deal with.
no subject
[ Maybe that single line holds the most emotion from everything Gojou has said about the memory. Despite that, he can't say he'd go back and change the past because he knows that is impossible.
In need of a distraction, he looks at Yuri and—is he pink? The man sounded so confident saying "I demand everything I need anyway, you're just telling me what I already do" and "Yeah? I'm used to people telling me that," so he didn't think much.
But.
It's very obvious to him that his face is pink. He will keep staring. ]
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[ and that's just the truth. each life is different, and losing it is painful and hurts in new and different ways every time.
-- why is he being stared at. hello? ]
What?
[ stop perceiving him? ]
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[ Which should actually mean the opposite? However, Gojou just means it's part of the job... The thought doesn't stop him from staring at Yuri. ]
Nothing! I just thought maybe you're blushing.
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[ god ]
Shockingly, sometimes people do that.
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[ They have to all have tougher skin, unfortunately. That's how Gojou sees it. It's said in a lighter voice as he tries to bounce back.
Pokes Yuri's cheek. ]
They do, but I didn't expect for you to blush over something I said.
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[ hrrrffnk.
he scrunches up his nose slightly when he's poked. cease. ]
I aim to surprise. [ it is said. so dryly. SO VERY DRYLY. he's suffering. ]
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He merely smiles some more. ]
Do you want to hear more? [ Spontaneously, he pulls Yuri closer by the shoulder so he can nuzzle into the size of his head playfully. ] I was telling the truth, by the way.
[ Just in case Yuri needs ANOTHER REMINDER. ]
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[ stooooop. ]
Sweet talking only goes so far.
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